Just another day in paradise

I think that I'm going to have to change my blog from Mommie Dearest to Daddy Dearest soon. Jeremy's doing too good of a job with the updates. I have some pictures that were taken today that I will likely post seperately tomorrow. I'm too tired right now and making you wait builds a little suspense.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We cannot thank you enough. Thanks, Michelle, for the teddy bear that was sent to Owen. It's in his room with him now.

Today marked the 72 hour mark. A major milestone for Mr. Owen as he battles all of the challenges that have been presented to him.

April and I started off the morning with a nice breakfast in the her hospital room. It was the first time since this whole ordeal started that we were able to calmly ingest some food without a huge sense of dread as to what would happen next up in the NICU.

We headed up to Owen's room just in time for the doctor's to have their morning meeting at his bedside. It was during that meeting that we got a pretty good rundown on how our little fighter is doing. His platelet count had risen since he had the plasma given to him. His numbers were far from fantastic but it was better. The status of his jaundice had stayed the same. He still needs to be under the bilirubin light. They did not notice any swelling of the skull so that was a plus. He was more responsive this morning than he had been the past couple of days. His body tone was lower than what they want....but that can be attributed to the phenobarbital he is being given that can cause him to be a little more lethargic and groggy than normal. His breathing continues to be good. His temperature is becoming more stable. So basically, the blood in his brain is bad...but the rest of him is in decent operating condition. Tests now showed that Owen was producing factor 13 on his own which means that it was not the issue and they still needed to find an new theory as to why this brain bleed took place.

We met a new nurse today. Her name is Babette...but I will refer to her as Babbles because she never shuts up and really says nothing of importance. Not to mention that she chooses to enforce all sorts of rules that we have never had to concern ourselves with before and that is irritating. But on a positive note...she was great to Owen and I guess that is all that matters.

As the Doctor's group consultation convened...things really start to get good. They had decided that it was no longer necessary for Owen to be in the incubator. They also decided they could safely remove the little air tube in house mouth that ran to his stomach....AND we could begin to feed him ourselves. Babbles removed the little tube from Owen's throat and it ticked him off and he started crying. It was again one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. We, of course, do not want him to be hurt...but to see him angry and healthily wriggling around is comforting to us as we have seen him do so little of that lately. Next, the nurse let April change his diaper for the FIRST TIME ever. He is so little that his diaper looks like a gauze pad...but it was still very exciting. The day of first continued because they decided to allow Owen to be covered with a bilirubin blanket instead of the big bilirubin light. This meant that he would no longer have to wear the goggles that covered his eyes and most of his head and he would also be able to wear clothes. He has to wear a sleeper that is way to big for him because they need to make room for his IV cords and the billy blanket they need to tuck inside...but that is progress. Next she decided she would let him sample a tiny bottle of breast milk to see if 1) he would eat 2) he understood the suck and swallow concept 3) he could keep the food down. Owen is a pro. He sucked that bottle down so fast that it was more of a gulping than a feeding. It was wonderful. Then Babbles handed him over to me for some one on one time. April and I both took turns just cuddling him and looking at his little face with NO wires, tubes, tapes or masks over it for the first time since the whole incident. He was extremely alert and would follow us with his eyes. He would kick...and move his fingers. He cannot do a great deal with his arms because he has these arm boards and IV's in both arms that limits his mobility. After we played with him for a while he headed back to his incubator for a while...but was allowed to have his clothes on and his billy blanket rather than the overhead light. After he went back to bed we headed off to lunch.

When I went in a bit later the nerve doctor was looking Owen over. This doctor looks like the guy that talks to Elmo on Sesame Street (the same actor with the mouse in The Green Mile) so we will refer to him as Dr. Elmo. Dr. Elmo informed me that a neurosurgeon would be coming to Owen's room soon to discuss possibly trying to extract some of the blood from Owen's brain. This was a scary thought...but I decided not to freak until after I talked to the guy. After waiting for him to show up for a while....our good friend Babbles informed us the surgeon was not coming today. I was a little irritated because Owen was also given a new ultrasound today and I did not know the results. I think Babbles knew I was irritated because a couple of minutes after I mentioned that I wanted someone to explain his ultrasound to me...and she told me no one was there....all of a sudden Dr. Elmo reappeared.

Dr. Elmo let us know that Owen still had a very large amount of blood in his brain. A majority of the blood is in the right side of his brain. This is bad and can cause disability....but the left side of the brain is the more operational side of the brain so if one side of the brain needs to be under distress...the right side would be slightly less tragic. He said it is hard to tell from the scans exactly how much of the darker area is blood and how much of it is swollen brain tissue. He explained that he appears outwardly to be much healthier than he really is because he has a major trauma going on inside his head. How much trauma and how it will affect him is still unknown...but he is concerned that the longer than blood is pushing on the brain the more issues it could cause. Dr. Elmo said the surgeon would be here in the morning and evaluate Owen and then we could proceed. He said that the monitors were picking up some minor electrical seizure activity but nothing clinical. He explained that this could still be being caused by the swelling on the brain and they would continue to watch it. He did end his discussion with some really wonderful news. While we will not know the effects this blood is having on Owens brain until more time progresses...he did feel that Owen has surpassed the critical period of whether he will make it or not and we should be able to breathe a breath of relief that he is not going anywhere. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

The day continued to be good times when I was able to feed him for the first time myself during his 2 o clock feeding. Once again he gulped down the small quantity of milk....but he did not wet his diaper and that was worrisome. Once again we got to play and he entertained us just by being Owen. After he was done eating he was wrapped up and put in his crib. No more incubator for him! A bit later we headed up again and April fed him this time. Once again a trooper and he concluded the feeding with a diaper that (while it may be gross) was filled with dark fluid meaning his body was trying to get that jaundice out of there....and that is good! The nurse also decided we would have a little more fun the next time we were up because we could give Owen his first bath.

7:30 came and we headed up to Owen's room. Once again he gave us a diaper with a good indication that he was fighting in it. And then we got to give him a bath. Finally we were able to wash off all of the adhesive residue off of his face and head. We got to wash him and lotion him and while it seems minor...it was nothing short of a miracle to see him crying and kicking....grimacing when the water poured over his head....relaxing when we massaged the lotion into his skin. He is so skinny! His little chicken legs were kicking all over. He kind of looks like a baby rat in the nude because his skin is reddish in tone and kind of wrinkles when you maneuver him because there is not much fat to fill him out. After his bath he ate again with an increased amount of milk and no complications. April and I talked to him and cuddled him for the next half an hour or so and he was wide awake and alert.

I realize that compared to the ride we have had the last few days...this all seems simplistic and dull to the average reader. But I cannot begin to describe how monumental and wonderful it all was from my perspective. As the day progressed I realized I have a whole new perspective on life and its miracles. Where diapers, feeding, bathing....are just the basic elements of parenting...when you are denied those simple tasks as your child struggles to live...you appreciate it so incredibly much more when you are given that opportunity to provide those services to me.

I am so incredibly thankful to have Owen here. I try not to skip ahead to whats next because I realize how crucial it is to just appreciate what is in the moment. I think April and I agree that this struggle has really left us a little paranoid because anytime he twitches we wonder if he is having a seizure. If he gazes somewhere other than at us we worry if there is something wrong. If he inhales deeply we worry he is having trouble breathing. The uncertainty of the effects of this blood can cause a certain degree of paranoia in anyone. But as soon as the pressure starts to build to the point of an anxiety attack I think to myself....who cares? Owen is here and he is fighting. He has made leaps and bounds against some MAJOR obstacles and come out smelling like a rose (actually Johnson and Johnson baby soap but that is just as well). He isn't giving up and he has proved it so we have no reason to doubt his durability and that is where you come into play.

I've always believed in the power of positive thinking and positive energy...but I have never needed to really test the theory as much as I do now. April and I love Owen with all of our hearts and we believe in him....but I think a big contributor to his success has been all the thoughts, prayers, positive thinking and well wishes from all of you. I cannot possibly express enough my gratitude for this outpouring of care and concern. This sensational little man has hopefully conquered one major obstacle but he has some even greater challenges to work though in the future and I would appreciate it if you would all continue to hope and pray for Owen to have the strength to continue to be the miracle that he is. PRAY....WISH....HOPE...lets strive to strengthen Owen up and get him home where he belongs!

Right now Owen is hooked to an IV that provides him some extra nourishment. If he continues to eat well...this will be discontinued when the latest bag of nourishment runs out and he will just be given a little sodium/sugar water through his IV just to keep some levels up. His phenobarbital will start being given to him orally tomorrow so that IV will be removed to. He does still have a couple of monitor patches on his chest to track his heart and oxygen and those may stay on for a while. He has NOTHING on his face and head and that is so wonderful to get to watch his little face without the distraction of tubes and wires. As he continues to grow stronger, the billy blanket will be removed and he will be more and more accessible. And hopefully as the days progress the blood will begin to subside and his tone will improve (although I should mention that when the Dr. checked him in the afternoon she said his tone was far from great but HAD improved since the last time she looked at him).

It is amazing how humble you become when life shakes you to the core. Owen has proven to me that every second counts and a great amount of joy can be found in a simple glance or squeezing of the finger. He is such an incredible little wonder that I cannot imagine a world without him in it. I cannot wait to continue to be his father and give him all of the love and guidance he needs to feel safe, happy and secure.