Move over Anne Geddes

My dear friend, Julie, made a trip down the week Owen was released from the hospital to take the pictures that we've been planning for months. It was very hot and humid that day, which made it perfect for taking his pictures outside. Perfect for sleeping Owen, not so much for the sweating adults. He thoroughly enjoyed lounging in the shade in the buff.

Julie has done all of Brendan's pictures since he was born. You can check out the fabulous work she did on Brendan's 19 month pictures HERE. Brendan has not always been the most cooperative for her, but she seems to pull it off.

Julie also made the long trek to Madison to visit us and took this picture of Owen when he was just a few days old. And if you're not already impressed by her photography talents already, you can see the awesome quilt she made for Owen in these pictures. She made a quilt for Brendan was he was born, which I love, but I have to admit I think I like Owen's even more. How can one person have so many talents? I'm not quite sure.

Thanks, Julie, for everything. She deserves a little credit for keeping me somewhat sane during those first few days after Owen was born.

Here are a few pictures from that day...

Brotherly Love

We learned last night that brotherly love is a process. After six weeks of acclimating himself to his new brother, Brendan finally was brave enough to touch Owen. Ok, so maybe he was forced a bit and bribed with chocolate, but those details are minor. I thought I'd share how the whole process went down in the mind of Brendan...

"You want me to sit close to HIM??"



"Just take the damn picture. This is close enough. And don't expect me to look happy about this process"



"Seriously, let's get this over with."



"I'm NOT touching him."



"I said No!!!!"



"Did someone say chocolate? I'll sit with him for three seconds. Start counting."



"Chocolate, por favor."



"Hey, this isn't so bad. "



"This really isn't so bad. He's kind of a cute little bugger, huh? See him?"



"Hey guys, look at my brother."



"CCCHHHEEEESSSEEEE!"



"This is the best."

A Step In The Right Direction!

Today was Owen's appointment with Gramps Creeper. As we loaded up in the car to head to Madison....I was a little worried about the trip to the hospital because Brendan was feeling a little unruly. I did not want him to disrupt the entire children's hospital with his fits. Once we got out onto the road...we never heard a peep from him. He rode in his seat...quietly watching his DVD's and his mood had leveled.

When we arrived at the hospital...we were in a hurry because we were running behind. We buckled Brendan in his stroller and grabbed Owen's seat and proceeded to make our way to radiology. I was relieved that we made it there on time and once we were checked in...we went to the play area to let Brendan stretch his legs and unwind a bit. He played with one of the puzzles that was attached to the wall. Eventually we let him out of his seat and I read to him. While I was trying to read a little Indian boy approached and tried to sit down next to us. Brendan was not amused. The little kid was holding a book with a fire truck on it and Brendan tried to point to the truck and the kid would whisk the book away. Brendan pointed and said fire truck and the little kid belted off something in his native language. Brendan got this expression like "I have no idea what the hell you are saying" and repeated fire truck to him again. The little kid continued to speak his language and Brendan would just look at me with this confused expression. It was humorous. It was a good thing we were amused since we got to go to get Owen's scan 45 minutes after its scheduled time and 5 minutes before our next appointment on the other side of the hospital.

Once we were called in for Owen's MRI we were lead down the longest hallway I have ever seen. The technician asked which one of us wanted to go into the MRI with him and I volunteered. Brendan and April waited in a room while I carried Owen down to the machine. I have seen MRI machines on TV before but have never seen one in person. The machine made noise as they buckled Owen onto the table. The nurse tried to swaddle his arms down inside of a blanket and as soon as she thought he was set, his hands came popping out of the top of the blanket. She tried again and failed. She decided his hands would not cause that much issue and let him keep them out. The nurse pulled out these two little yellow ovals that looked like unrolled condoms to me...and placed them over his ears. He did not enjoy them and shook one off, so she needed to put it back on again. She positioned his head in a little brace and handed me a pair of ear plugs. I did not think the machine was that loud...but I put them in and they began to guide him into the machine. As I looked into the tube...I realized I would never be able to participate in an MRI on my own because that tube was too narrow and I would surely die of an anxiety attack. So imagine my horror when I was asked to lean into the tube and push on Owen's feet so he could not scoot down during the scan. Once the MRI machine fired up, I realized why I needed the earplugs as it clunked and beeped. The sounds were loud and their were what sounded like alarms beeping. As I watched Owen laying there hollering...I realized it had to be semi-terrifying for him to hear all of this noise. The whole scan only took two minutes and before we knew it we were rushing up to Gramps Creeper's office in an attempt to make our appointment on time.

As we proceeded from one side of the hospital to the other...we were trapped behind a trashtastic group of people and were privy to their wonderful conversation. Trailer Mama was talking about how she had noticed bicycles on the sign above the entrance to the rooms she needed to go to. She wondered...is this a biking area? I thought...OH GOD! I am dumb just like trailer mama...I fell for the "dogs only area" and here she was talking about the biking zone! She went on to say that she thought about this for a while and realized the bike symbol was probably to help the STAFF remember where they were. While my face was still flushed from the realization that I was confused by the signs...I felt a little better when I could at least say I figured out the reasoning behind them, where as Trailer Mama was still clearly confused.

We jumped on the elevators and headed up to Gramps Creeper's abode. The nasty little troll nurse ushered us back to weigh Owen once again. Just like last time, she was still completely lacking in any form of personality...and once again...expected us to know what she wanted since she was clearly unable to just instruct us as to what she needed. Owen gained weight! We bundled up a little bit and headed from the weighing room to another examination room to await Gramps. Brendan was immediately unhappy to be in the room and was about to fuss...when I pointed out a chalkboard he could play with. For the remainder of the appointment...he drew and erased pictures...sometime causing his nails to scrape across the board and giving me the worst chills...but he behaved wonderfully.

When Gramps came into the room...he told us that Owen's head circumference had not increased at all. This was a really good thing and pretty remarkable. He asked if we had any issues at all and we said we had not. He quickly examined Owen and said he did not feel pressure on his head and his soft spot was indeed soft and concave (where as it had been firm and stressed before). He and the nurse then reviewed the MRI and talked amongst themselves. The conversation consisted of sounding astounded that his head had not swollen and his soft spot was soft. Then they would look at the scan and whisper. There would be long bouts of silence where they looked at the screen and then at each other. April and I both started to get alarmed because they were not talking to us. Gramps asked again about Owen's history. He was born in Meriter right? We told him no...Reedsburg and then he was transported to Madison by ambulance. That is what I meant he said. And then he would look at the screen some more.

Finally he addressed his views. He turned the screen and said that Owen's head was looking very good and that there was no new swelling. Then he showed us the scan and said that the ventricles were still swollen...but there were four stages of swelling (forgive me if I do not quote them precisely the same, but i know the first two are right)...mild, moderate, severe & critical. He said Owen's swelling was moderate. I was shocked and thrilled! He said the blood was now gone from his head and that while the ventricles were swollen...they were not anything that would require surgery at this time because they had improved and we would not have to return to him again for a month!! We were elated. You could tell by their bewildered expressions that this was really a phenomenal thing. They did not need to tell us twice and we dressed Owen and hightailed it out of the hospital.

Once we got home...I went out to the car and woke Brendan up since he had fallen asleep on the way home. When he was awake....I was bombarded by the books he wanted to read and attention he so eagerly pursued. He and Owen had on matching outfits, so April asked if she could take a picture of them together and Brendan instantly said NO! So I did what any quality parent would do and bribed him with chocolate. He agreed to sit next to Owen...but when I actually seated him close to Brendan... he would move away. April snapped a couple of pictures and gave him his chocolate. Before he had a chance to leave, I picked Owen up and set him on Brendan's lap. He was so offended and immediately tried to push him away. I offered him sweets again and he calmed a bit. I positioned his right arm to hold Owen up and told him to put his other arm on Owen's tummy to hold him. You could see Brendan's brotherly instinct kick in at that very moment...and he held Owen carefully and rubbed his stomach. He leaned over and talked to him. He pointed out the balls on his shirt and rubbed his tummy some more. We got some really terrific pictures of it. Brendan started to move a bit so I picked Owen up and as soon as he was out of Brendan's arms...he said AGAIN! He wanted to hold Owen some more. Something tells me there will be much more bonding to come...and I hope so because it was absolutely precious!

While Owen has been doing an excellent job...I still think his neck is not as supportive as it should be. I have been putting him through a baby boot camp to try to strengthen him up and prove just what he is made of. I hold him upright and support his shoulders...but allow a bit of tension to be put on his neck in an attempt to get him to gain a bit more head control. I stand him up to make him work his legs and also control his head. I lay him on his stomach and tuck his knees up to his chest to encourage him to turn his head from one side to the other (which he does with much irritation). I lay him on his back and flex his hips and legs to make sure he is moving his legs into the positions they should be. I work his arms and shoulders as well as position his head up towards the ceiling so he holds it and does not get lazy. I know he does not love it...but I figure the more I work with him, the stronger he will get. I figure he should get a work out and I should make him do it...since I can't get my fat butt to work out.

So what's next? A visit to his pediatrician on Monday to review his progress. 0 to 3 is coming on Monday to evaluate his motor skills and see if we could use their assistance at all...or give us suggestions to continue to progress in the right direction. I am interested to hear their thoughts. We will also be going back to Madison to see Dr. Elmo for the first time since Owen was discharged. I am anxious to see his reaction to the active little baby he has in front of him...so he can compare what he sees to that fragile little flower that was admitted to the NICU to begin with. I also want to know what he thinks about the MRI Owen had and hear what his prognosis is given the current information. I am hopeful it will be an encouraging one. In the meantime....we will continue to do what we do best...being a family. I try to stay realistic...but we have all really enjoyed just slowly working ourselves into a more normal day to day routine. I think we had plenty of excitement the first month...and now...I just want to raise our kids and move forward. So watch for the pictures soon and we will keep you posted.

Cheeky Monkey

I just wanted to post some pictures to show that Owen is starting to fill out. Just like Brendan, he seems to gain in the cheeks before anywhere else.

Here are some pictures from this afternoon.



In case you wondered, yes he still sleeps with his eyes open.



Trying to get Brendan's attention.




We had Owen's "newborn" pictures taken a couple weeks ago. I will post those in the days to come too. Gives you something to look forward to. You're welcome. :)

Moving Right Along

The day to day existence has proven to be quite a challenge when it comes to doing everything that needs to be done and finding a moment to post. April spends her days feeding, pumping, changing, playing Brendan and repeat....and I have been doing the same only instead of pumping...I work. By the time the process breaks up a little bit that is the point we are supposed to attempt to sleep. So posting has been a challenge.

The Lee household has been adapting. Owen has continued to increase his feeds and his spit ups are almost none existent. Hurrah! He is gaining weight and even allows us to burp him successfully like your average infant. We have an appointment with the neurosurgeon in Madison on Thursday to see how everything is progressing from his perspective. I am sure Gramps Creeper will be compelled to play Knock Knock on Owen's head once again.

It is tough to tell what an infant should and should not be doing at this stage in his life...but Owen seems to be doing well. He kicks his legs and plays with his hands. He tracks somewhat with his eyes and I don't know if he is meeting the "standard" for the child of his age or not. We will probably find that out next week when the 0 to 3 representative visits our house. The way I see it is that he has defied so many odds in just one month that he needs a break from being phenomenal all of the time. We work with him flipping him on his stomach and working his legs and arms. As I mentioned...he seems to be doing everything well...but we are striving for greater head strength and mobility so we push him a little harder stimulate him a bit more. He does not enjoy tummy time...but Brendan did not at that age either. We attempt to avoid over analysis of his condition...he acts like a baby...we probably would not be worrying about anything had it not been for the first couple weeks of his life.

Brendan has been the life of the party. He has given up naps in lieu of extra time to chase us around the house. His nice 8 or 9 o'clock bedtime has been thrown completely out of whack and he likes to party at all hours of the night now. His new thing is that he gets super hyper close to bedtime and flies through the house at a million miles an hour until he eventually crashes. But sometimes, eventually does not come fast enough. He is warming up to Owen a little bit. He will sit with him when Owen is sitting in his chair. Brendan will get diapers for Owen and even attempt to give him his pacifier. He does not like feeding time and will usually try to distract us from giving Owen his bottle. We just get the ALL DONE statement and he tries to whisk us away. I still cannot believe he is only 22 months old. He is such a smarty pants. I looked forward to making tents out of chairs and sheets when he got older...but I don't have to look forward to it at all because we are already doing it. We made a tent out of the dining room table the other day and he had a blast! He would sit outside the "door" and say Open Sesame so I could open it up and let him inside. He can count to 3. His spanish vocabulary has expanded a bit. He is so witty! What an amazing little child...until he starts teaching Owen his more negative attributes. Like when he throws the food from his high chair into the dogs hair or when he tries to sneak out the back door to play in the yard.

Overall, we are just being a family for a while and it is challenging at times but fun. It is nice to be experiencing a period of time where things are going more as we envisioned them. Sure, we never sleep and often have synchronized screaming kids. It is much harder to accomplish things or go somewhere. Me time is almost non-existent or sleep is sacrificed in order to realize this luxury. But that is parenthood and there is really nothing I would rather be doing....and April shares that sentiment. We will let you know how Owen's appt. went later in the week.

Around The Clock Fun

It has been almost a week since I last posted. While April has snapped some very cute shots of the boys...I have been delving deeper into the work environment (which is far less enjoyable but absolutely necessary). Although I would rather be home...it is still so much nicer to be able to work and return to my house then it was to have to travel to Madison so I am not complaining.

Brendan has continued to be the neediest kid on the planet. He is an ever present force to be reckoned with. He still wants his mom and dad ALL OF THE TIME. As I sit here trying to write this...he is right on the other side of the laptop. Every once in a while he pops up from behind the screen and says PEEK! He has a bottle brush that we just ran through the dishwasher. He is using it to brush his tongue, hair and the carpet. It is very sanitary. I want to be irritated with his excessive separation anxiety...but he is pretty entertaining. He dances through the house with his toy saxophone. His "tourette's" syndrome continues as he shouts boob as he heads down the aisles of Walmart. Brendan has taken a liking to sneaking out the back door and frolicking in the backyard in his diaper with the cat. Perhaps it is because we have a small infant in the house...but Brendan seems wise beyond his years in some of the things he is capable of doing and saying. I lose sight of the fact that he is not even 2 years old yet. He is speaking a little bit of spanish now. He likes to work the por favor angle everytime he wants something...and staying with his polite nature...always says gracias when he gets what he wants (which is much more often than should probably be acceptable). He has no musical talent so far, but he likes to sing. He counts to 3...and then skips to saying 6,6,6....Hmmmm...is he telling us he is a little dark prince? I cannot tell you how many times he will behave badly and just when I am about to punt him out the door...he does or says something that is so humorous, we have to hide our faces in our hands to conceal the giggles. He really is a gift.

Then there is Owen. It is very hard to truly gauge a newborns progress...but I think he is doing well. We have gradually been increasing his feeds and he has been tolerating it very well. He seldom spits up anymore and when he does...it is minimal. We have even been burping him (which is something we had given up on for a while because of the massive spits) and he has been doing that well also. We took him to the doctor again a couple of days ago and he has exceeded the 7 lb. mark. According to the Reedsburg doctor, his head circumference has not increased since last week...so we are going to continue to be hopeful. Owen is still a small little creature. He seems to fit okay into his newborn shirts...but his little toothpick legs are too small for newborn pants and we end up having to roll his pant legs. Socks fit the size of his feet...but his ankles are so scrawny, they do not stay on very well. As you have seen from the videos we have posted...he has been pretty alert. Of course, we are constantly worried about him. We worry if he sleeps too much. We worry if he is awake too long. We flip if he twitches. The poor child is constantly under a microscope because we are so fearful something is wrong. Unfortunately, I think it will be like that for quite a while to come, but it is so nice to have him home.

Sleep was scarce before Owen came home...but since his arrival in the Lee homestead...it is now non-existent. Sadly, Owen was more of the frosting on the cake and is not the primary source of the issue. That title goes to Brendan. He has recently been disregarding his naps and so by 8 o clock at night...he is overtired and hyper. He flies through the house babbling and destroying everything in his path. His bedtime used to be between 7:30 and 8:30 at night. Now, we have to strap him in the bed to get him to go to sleep before 11. Owen wakes up every couple of hours to eat. Brendan wakes up randomly throughout the night. Sometimes he is just loud but not really awake. Other times he gets up at 4 a.m. and never goes back to sleep again. The point is, outside of work (which is worse) there is no Brendan free time. It is even better when one wakes the other and this process repeats for hours on end. However irritating physical exhaustion is...it is at least an expected inconvenience that many parents contend with as opposed to the extreme challenges we were facing a month ago.

We managed to minimize our appointments this week. Of course, this would be the week that Target has a good sale on soda...but we refused to drive anywhere that was not needed. Next week it is back to the menagerie of trips including one to see Gramps Creeper again. I failed to mention on my last post the most disturbing part of Owen's exam with Gramps. At one point, he held the top of Owens head up to his ear and proceeded to knock on the side of Owen's head as if we testing the firmness of a melon. Was he listening for an echo? Is there some scientific technique with head knocking that I am not aware of? I was in shock at the time I witnessed it...but next week when/if he does again...I will absolutely ask him what purpose it serves.

Brendan went "to bed" at 8:30 tonight. Within minutes he was back up and running through the house at full speed. Now he is winding down for possibly one more shot at bedtime and I hear Owen waking up on the monitor. So the cycle continues....

As I spell check...April is getting Brendan a diaper to change him into before going to bed. Brendan just walked up behind her and goosed her. When she shot up he giggled and when she bent back over to get the diaper he goosed her again and when she reacted he shouted YES! as if getting the reaction was a major accomplishment. Once again....goosing was not something he was ever taught and he manages to come up with something new all of the time.

Boys and their toys

Owen has taken a liking to some of Brendan's toys. Brendan is more than willing to share the Elmo/Cookie Monster ball because he's scared to death of it. Handy Manny, on the other hand, may be another story. Here are some videos just so you can see how lively Owen is getting.

Don't tell anyone

but, I think I kind of like you....




Generally, Brendan likes to keep his distance from Owen. He will watch him intently from a distance. He will not touch him but he doesn't want anyone else too either. He has been getting braver lately. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Today he wanted to give him his pacifier. Owen didn't really need it but they were bonding so what the heck.

One month

I took a couple pictures yesterday just because Owen was being so darn cute. When I went to bed last night I realized it was his one month birthday so I thought I had to share. Baby acne and all.




This is so boring!



Now you're starting to piss me off.



Never mind, I'm over it.



Feel free to gush over his awesome new quilt.

For the record, even though he was up to 7 lbs 2 oz when we went to the doctor yesterday the outfit he is wearing is preemie. I put a pair of newborn pants on him the other day and when I picked him up they slid off. Thank God it was so hot that day he was able to just go with just a onesie.

Frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails

The other night Jeremy was mowing our jungle yard and brought in a toad for Brendan. He said that while he was mowing he found a snake and figured bringing in the toad was better. Um, ok. Brendan has had an obsession with frogs for awhile now so he was quite pleased. They played with the huge "frog" for quite awhile. Brendan was in heaven but wasn't willing to hold it. Shoot, he barely wanted to touch it. It was time to release the creature after Amos snatched it up and tried to claim it for himself.

Last night Jeremy came in with yet another one. This time it was just a tiny "frog". Brendan was much more brave and was willing to touch it, hold it, and even pick it up. Oh, I'm so proud.

Owen In Wonderland

When I woke up this morning I was raring to spend the day lounging about the house with my family and avoiding the outside world. Of course today was neurosurgeon day and I really did not want to travel...and the last couple of days have been decent...so I did not want my bubble to burst as a result of any sort of bad news. Sadly, reality does not care what you want or do not want...it demands that you react on cue and be the responsible adult...so we loaded Owen and Brendan up in the car and began our journey. Brendan was dropped off at Grandma Ahlers because we were fearful of his mood being penned up in a hospital once again. Of course, he was also ticked about being dropped off at his Grandma's because the separation anxiety has failed to subside in the slightest way.

After dropping Brendan off we headed down to Madison. It was refreshing to listen to the music on my ipod instead of the Backyardigans and their mind numbing little ditties that seem to be on repeat every time Mr. Brendan is in the car. We decided head down University Avenue to get to the Childrens Hospital and that was a bad idea because the road construction was a major pain and it took forever to get to where we were going. By the time we got to the hospital exit...it was late enough that we could not go somewhere for lunch and make our appointment so we were going to have to eat at the UW cafeteria. I was not completely disappointed because I have grown a taste for hospital food and I was curious to see if UW's cafeteria food would be as good as Meriter. Sad yes...but you when you make a career out of spending time at medical facilities...you get your kicks wherever they may become available.

As we rounded the front entry of the hospital...there was a bronzed statue of what I assume was supposed to be a family...it was kind of creepy and I was in a weird state because we were entering a children's hospital (somewhere I never felt I would ever have to go to) and I was anxious...not just to be going to the hospital but to have to conquer the parking ramp ahead of me and I am not a fan of parking ramps. This particular ramp was awful. It went down instead of up...was very poorly marked as to which direction you needed to go...and had sections that looked like they ended only to see...SURPRISE! You could proceed down this little pathway. For someone who does not enjoy the parking process...the complexity of it all was unsettling and I wanted to get this appointment over with.

Once we were parked...we wandered aimlessly through the poorly marked underground parking area only to stumble upon the elevator entrance. We loaded up on the elevator and went up to the main lobby floor. The lobby area did not look like a hospital. It looked like something out of Alice in Wonderland...or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was painted in pastel colors and had portions that looked like city streets. There was a cow sculpture that was modeled into the shape of a train. It was a visual overload and what I would believe an acid trip in the 70's would have looked like. I needed to use the restroom which once again had a large green door with a push area...but a door handle low to the floor (I am assuming at a child's height) that you had to reach down and use to get in the bathroom. I don't like public restrooms with door handles...so once again, I was very displeased.

Next we had enough time to kill so we headed over to the actual UW in order to get some lunch. We followed the signs to the cafeteria only to end up in the Atrium waiting for an elevator. As we waited...I realized the last time I waited at this elevator I was with my Gram (who passed away over a year ago of lung Cancer) to go to one of her appointments. I looked down the hallway and noticed the sign to radiology and as I broadened my perspective...I could actually see my Gram scuffling down the hallway in her little salmon colored pant suit...her hair all done up and her eye brows drawn on just right. A heaviness settled in my chest and a little tinge of sadness sparked through my body and DING the elevator arrived to take us to the cafeteria.

Focused back on the prospect of a little lunch, we proceeded to board the elevator. The cafeteria was fantastic and I am afraid it was much better than Meriter's. It was very swank (I just wanted to use that word). It had been completely remodeled since the last time I was there. It had a little area to purchase subs, a large area to make your own salad, a little bakery to purchase baked goods. There was a section of Asian foods and a section for comfort foods. There were a variety of drinks from cappuccinos to energy drinks. All different brands. There were tons of different desserts to choose from...I think I gained a few pounds just thinking about them. I was impressed...but we settled on some fried mushrooms and a barbecued pulled pork sandwich. Both were very good and satisfying. I wanted dessert...but I was not the least bit hungry by the time I finished what we had...and really I need to put down the fork and go for a run. Unfortunately, we have many more hospital trips in our future...so I will be able to schedule a date with a piece of Peanut Butter Pie real soon.

After lunch we headed up to the 3rd floor of the childrens hospital for Owen's appointment. Once again...there was different decor...but it was very busy, brightly colored and for me, frightening. They had little rooms that you needed to go into to register...so while April did that, I sat on a couch in the lobby and cased the place out. There was a large fish aquarium farther down the way that I thought Brendan would be interested in. I saw a painting of a man and an arrow...must be a mens restroom. Next to that, a painting of a woman and an arrow...must be a womens restroom. Good to know. Then I saw a picture of a dog and an arrow pointing to the doors. Hmmmm....are their that many sick children with dogs needed to assist them that they have their own little place to keep them during their appointments? They could not possibly have an area designated to letting the dogs go to the bathroom...that would be stupid. But then...it is all concrete all around the hospital and I suppose if they need to go they need to go and it would be logical to have an area for them to be able to urinate. Hmmmm....Before I could embarrass myself with anymore ridiculous pondering of the concept...April reappeared and told me to follow her to the waiting area we needed to be in.

By the time we were walking towards that area...Owen had started to fuss and all I was thinking about was getting seated so I could give him some bottle...so I did not look around at anything else. I started feeding him and he was ravenous...and just a few sucks into the bottle, we were already being summoned to head to the examination room. We followed this stout troll like lady into one of the rooms. She looked to be in her late 40's/early 50's with short bobbed hair and a sharp demeanor. I did not think she was very personable. She asked that we allow her to weigh Owen and when April commented he probably would not need to be undressed...she snapped...yes he does! So she and April worked on undressing him and weighing him. He gained again...woo hoo! Next thing you know we were being whisked off to another exam room for no apparent reason. Here the Troll Nurse measured the circumference of Owen's head to find it had increased 1 cm. After the typical pre-exam question and answer session she said the doctor would be in shortly and left. The room was painted in an awful pepto-bismol pink. There was a barn and a bale of hay painted on the ceiling. The doctor's chair as well as the benches around the room were cow print. A little child has clearly had fun once with the doctor's chair since it was doodled on with black pen. As we waited, I wondered how children would find this soothing.

It wasn't long before the neurosurgeon arrived. He was the same older gentleman that we had met at Meriter. He was followed into the room by a young male medical student and a young Asian female medical student. The surgeon introduced himself as if we had never met him before (and I am pretty positive he did not remember we had) which once again made things more surreal and unnerving....so because of this (and the fact he had creepy long pauses between his statements over the course of the appointment) I will refer to the neurosurgeon (not to be confused with the neurologist Dr.Elmo) as Gramps Creeper...since we was a creepy Grandpa type that was friendly but odd. Anyway...Gramps Creeper and his staff introduced themselves and proceeded to surround April, Owen and myself to begin the appointment. Gramps would ask questions and we would answer...this would be followed by bouts of silence as he read the computer screen in front of him. He had some trouble finding the scans of Owen's to review and the disorganization of the meeting made things awkward. He wrote his notes with a calligraphy pen and I chose to listen to the scratching of this pen against the paper as the doctor's mumbled to one another.

Eventually a little bit of information was divulged about Owen's current state. Only about 1/3 of the bleed remains in his brain at this time. The area where the blood has been has now filled with spinal fluid and so hydrocephalus (as predicted) has set in. Gramps Creeper said that a shunt would need to be put in but they would hold off as long as they could because he would like the blood to be gone before doing the procedure. Doing it now would increase the risk of infection as well as a clogging of the shunt (which could happen as a result of the dried blood material in the brain). He asked that we return in 2 weeks (and attend all of our other scheduled appointments) so he could evaluate things again at this time. If Owen's head were to swell 2 cm or more in a week...he wanted him back sooner. I asked about the cysts in his head and he reviewed the scan again and pointed them out (I knew where they were...I just wanted to know the consequence of them). He reiterated that they were caused by a dissolving of tissue where the bleed had been inside the brain matter and said that typically cysts like those did not increase in size or cause any issue. April asked if there were long term affects because of the cysts or bleed and he told us that the prognosis for Owen's case is very vast. The possibilities are so endless because they really have no idea what the result of all of this will be until time shows us what they are. As April and I discussed later....it is frustrating to have no real prognosis...but on the other hand...it means the possibility of something great happening is just as possible as something bad. So we continue to hope for the best. Gramps Creeper drew a diagram showing us how and where a shunt would be inserted. He said if it was done soon...it may need to be an external shunt for a couple of days until they were confident dried blood material would not clog it and then it would be run internally. A shunt is permanent. The procedure itself would take about 45 minutes and runs about a 7% risk of something going awry. Without it...the hydrocephalus would not go away on its own and the swelling would continue. This means that a surgery is in our future along with more nights in the hospital and probably at the Ronald McDonald house. The news was not great but not devastating. Gramps Creeper then bid us adieu and we dressed Owen and headed back out in the lobby to schedule our next appointment.

Again...April went to schedule the appointment and I sat on a couch with Owen looking around. Straight ahead of me was a men's restroom. Next were a set of double doors with a sign in front of it with a cat and an arrow pointing towards the door. A little ways away was doors with a barn painted on a sign and the arrow. It was at this point I realized how fried my brain has become and a grin streamed across my face. They did not have an area for dogs....those signs were indicators for children to know what section of the facility they were in and to make it easily identifiable to them so they could get where they were going. We went into the doors with the barn sign and ended up in a room with a barn on the ceiling. DUH! Of course, my stupidity could have been my own little secret...but now I have shared it with all of you!

We left the hospital still feeling optimistic which has kind of been the theme this week. Owen has continued to eat well and the spits have been few and far between. The concept of brain surgery is scary....but a bridge we will need to cross when we come to it. I guess this truly is an adventure and one that we will tackle one challenge at a time.

I would like to end this blog with a couple Brendan stories since he was not part of this post so far and he is such an enjoyable little monster. I don't know if it is in his water or what...but while his vocabulary is vast...he spices it up every once in a while with an English accent. I am not quite sure where it came from...but it is very prominent at times and quite humorous. None of his cartoons have characters that speak with English accents...so I don't get it.

Brendan is also becoming even more mischievous. Owen has a large tub of Vaseline that we use to put on his gauze for his circumcision area...and Brendan has stolen this tub numerous times to see how much Vaseline he can ingest before we catch him. Disturbing? Yes! He has discovered he can climb and tonight while playing in his room...he brought out a package of little kid crayons that I swore I had hidden from him in his crib he never uses. When I refused to open them for him...he disappeared. A few minutes later he was crying and April went to check on him. He had scaled the side of his crib (which is what he must have done before) and was leaned over the railing of the crib with his hands on the mattress and his legs dangling over the side. The weight distribution must have been wrong and he was just stuck. He was crying because he needed to be saved. He has tried to sneak out the back door numerous times recently and has been known to sneak a crayon or two in another room for a snack. I think we may have a bit of a handful with Mr. Brendan and a possible bad influence on his baby brother Owen. I'll keep you posted on that too!

Peace and quiet

Ah, to be able to slumber without the constant interuptions from those pesky (but loving) nurses.

The daily grind

Since Jeremy went back to work, I've been on my own all week. It's not as bad as I thought it would be most of the time. Brendan has been much more cooperative than I ever imagined he would be, with a few moments of questionable behavior.

I've been straying from the every two hour feeding schedule because it's too hard. By the time he was done eating it was practically time to start again. Owen is doing really well with bigger feedings a little more spaced out. Trying to feed him every two hours like clockwork, entertain Brendan, and finding time in between to pump was brutal.

This is Brendan chatting with Owen Sunday morning. I don't think he realized I was witnessing this.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I use TV as a survival tool. If it wasn't for Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, and Mickey Mouse feedings and pumping would never happen.

Brendan doesn't typically get too close to Owen. He will watch but doesn't want to touch him. He did help me lotion Owen's feet yesterday. He thought it was fun, but looked like he might be peeing himself at the same time. He is always very curious when it comes to diaper changes. I know you are going to be shocked by this, but the other day he pointed out Owen's penis as we were changing him. Then looked concerned by the whole Vaseline thing. I didn't explain, I just went on about my business. I didn't feel the need to explain a circumcision to him. Sunday morning I was in the kitchen and Brendan was talking to Owen. I kept hearing him say over and over "Penis, penis". I ignored and went about continued with what I was doing. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks what he was proclaiming. I turned around to find Brendan with the jar of Vaseline and a handful of it that he was snacking on. Oh yes. I took the Vaseline away, cleaned him up, and we went on with our lives.

Yesterday I was feeding Owen and Brendan was sitting on the other end of the couch watching TV with us. He was enjoying himself and being an angel. Or so I thought. I glanced over to find him with the damn jar of Vaseline again. Really? It can't possibly taste good that you'd go back for seconds. Apparently to him it does.

Today I finished changing Owen and was getting his bottle ready. When I came back in the room I found Brendan with the Vaseline yet again. This time he wasn't hungry. Apparently his skin was very dry and only Vaseline could help. His hair needed some conditioning too. Vaseline does not come out of hair easily. Today we are going to attempt again to remove it using cornstarch. Wish us luck. The Vaseline is now out of reach.

These pictures make it look a lot better than it really was.

Back To Life

When we finally left the hospital after spending over 3 weeks in a tiny confined space....it took a bit to re-acclimate to life on the outside. When I say we, I mean our entire family. You would be surprised to see how affected even the tiniest of people (Brendan) can be after a situation like this. A combination of trying to resume life as it was...and sheer exhaustion have been the primary contributing factors to the lack of posts. That and the consistent ups and downs made for compelling storytelling...where as the aftermath (thank goodness) has been more peaceful and uneventful.

Owen is doing very well at home so far. He has been eating and we have been gradually increasing the amount of food we give him. It has been a slow process, but the spit ups have been minimal and at his appointment on Monday, we found that he had gained a nice little chunk of weight...which is a sign that we are getting this feeding thing right. For the most part, he has been waking on his home wanting to eat. He presents himself as a much more average baby outside of the hospital. His good moments far outweigh his bad. When he wakes up we change him and do some of his mobility exercises with him just in case he has any stiffness or lack of tone. I really feel he is quite strong and will be interested to see what the therapist has to say next time we see her. He is always very eager to eat and usually downs his bottle in record time. He coos and plays....looks around at his new surroundings and seems to really enjoy the movement and brightness of the sun when it shines through the windows. I suppose after being confined to a dark little room....seeing people moving around and hearing new noises is very stimulating. For the most part, he gets up for his feedings at night and goes right back to bed. Of course, sleep is a scarcity because if he is not up....Brendan is...but we will deal with that in due time. At Owen's appointment we also learned that his head circumference had not expanded all that much and the doctor (his new pediatrician) seemed pretty content with the way he was thriving. Good news has been a little harder to come by than bad news in this whole saga....so we appreciate each and every step forward.

Brendan has been MUCH more content at home. I think he is just so thrilled to have his toys easily accessible and freedom to wander into any room he wants and make as much noise as he wants (which let me assure you he does) without being told to shush. Sunday we never left the house because we had that option. I think Brendan was actually relieved to be able to just chill in his surroundings for an extended period of time. When it comes to April and myself....Brendan still has some severe separation anxiety. He wants us both around him all of the time. We get plenty of hugs and kisses and overall his mood is very good. The downside is that we are not allowed any down time for ourselves because he constantly has a book, some colors, or an activity that he wants us to participate with. Even the stillness of a quiet night after the little beast is asleep is virtually impossible because he wants to snuggle. Once Brendan time is officially over....we usually have so little energy left ourselves we just go to bed. It seems one of the boys is back up before you know it.

As we experience this lull between appointments (and the zillion trips to and from Madison), I have returned to the daily grind. I have to say it is easier to work during a more normal shift and then be able to go home for the evening than it was to work after a super long day filled with doctors and tension. I realize my perspective on things have changed so much in such a short amount of time. I have a much more sympathetic nature to all of the causes out there trying to help people in need. I found myself carefully reading different donation request letters that I am always receiving in the mail and really pondering how I can help them out the most. I realize through the loss of my grandmother and the birth of Owen that there are some truly incredible organizations out there that do so much for people in need....and having partaken in their generosity myself, I find it important to give back wherever possible from now on.

April is healing well from her c-section surgery. She has had the honor (and the challenge) of handling both the boys while I am at work. So far, so good. Although she too is denied any free time or sleep. That will be coming one of these days soon...right?

Next up is an appointment with the neurosurgeon on Thursday to see if they feel they need to proceed with the consideration of a shunt for Owen...or if they think he is holding his own for the time being and can be left alone. I am anxious to talk to Dr. Elmo to find out more about the cause of and expectation of the two little cysts they found in an area where part of Owen's bleed had been. The questions are always building in my head....but I have been so appreciative of the time we have had to just be a family at last. It is nice to see Brendan's reaction to his new little brother (which I have to say has been very positive so far). It has been great eating a homecooked meal (and maybe shedding a few pounds now that we are not on the neverending restauarant grease diet). Sleeping in our own bed has been a luxury that I think I appreciate the most....and actually getting more than an hour of sleep is a big aspiration of mine.

So there is more to come....once again, I apologize for boring you....but it is so much easier on us mentally to live this normal existence then it was to be a part of the soul crushing experiences we had to go through over the course of the first few days of Owen's life with us. I have to say he is as cute as a button and we hope to be able to bring him around and share the little miracle witn you soon! Until then.....have a great evening!

A New Day Has Come

Yesterday proved to be really quite pointless. We arrived in the morning to find that we had yet another nurse. I think she might have been my least favorite of them all...outside of Bitch Face who I am still bitter about. We will refer to this nurse as Nurse Agatha...since she looked like an Agatha. She was a stout lady in her sixties with a strange speech impediment and a chest that lost its battle with gravity. She would meander into the room looking very clueless and when she referred to someone it would only be towards "the mother". When we first got there and sat down...we had to wait a while for Nurse Agatha to arrive. When she finally came into the room...she looked right past me where I was sitting in plain view and looked to the other side of the room behind the supply cart where April was sitting and she asked if she was the mother. Then she proceeded to talk to and respond to only April. As the day progressed...Brendan was a little unruly and April spent a great deal of time entertaining him and I devoted most of my time to tending to Owen. After Owen had his lunch (which I fed him) and the next nurse came in...Nurse Agatha started to explain what had happened throughout the day...and "his mother" fed him and he ate...blah, blah, blah...and "his mother" told me...blah, blah, blah. That was when I made the firm decision that Nurse Agatha and I were never going to be friends. Outside of her annoying me...Brendan was not in the mood for hospitals....we asked to speak to Frank and he never came to speak to us. Owen had a head ultrasound and no one gave us the results. We finally left frustrated later in the day because we really accomplished nothing and learned nothing.

Today, on the other hand, was a different story. When we arrived...Babbles was sitting at the nurses station and commented as we were entering the room..."so today is the day huh?". I replied "for real?" I said it in a joking tone...but I was serious. We have been waiting for so long for this opportunity that I think we started to just assume that we were going to just keep on waiting indefinitely. When we got into the room...we started asking the nurse on duty questions and she seemed relatively clueless and kept referring to his notes on the computer. When I asked about his head ultrasound...she asked that I come read the screen since it was a "whole paragraph". I did not understand a majority of the medical jibberish...and when I asked her to explain it to me...she said she would just go find Frank...which she did.

Frank explained that indeed Owen would be able to leave today. He had gained 100 oz. and his spitting had improved. We were going to need to continue with the 2 hour feedings until we felt more confident to increase the amount of his feedings and until Owen was keeping everything down that we were getting in. His head circumference had increased 1 cm overnight which was a major jump. I was very surprised that they were still allowing us to leave considering the circumstances...but I was not going to argue. Frank said there had also been a significant increase in the ventricles in Owen's brain...but once again...they were still proceeding with his release. He took us over to see his latest scan which as he spoke was really very unsettling to me. The blood still fills a majority of the right side of his brain. The fear reflex set it and I did not ask as many questions as I should...but the right side was very full. On the left side...there were 2 small spots where the blood has dissipated...but it dissolved that little dot of brain and in those 2 areas are now 2 small cysts. This was something brand new with this particular scan because before there had been blood in those areas. Frank went on to explain the swollen ventricle...but I wanted to know more about the cysts. When I asked them what they would mean as far as Owen's well being...he told me he did not know. Then I asked what usually happens and he repeated he did not know. If this happens in a preemie it yields very bad results...but in a full term child such as Owen...he had no idea what it meant and that would be a question for Dr.Elmo. I started to feel more uneasy...but then I realized that it made no sense to panic now....this was a happy day...so we would cross those other bridges when we came to it.

We returned back to our room and the nurse gave us his discharge papers. As I reviewed all of the facts and tests he has been through...I looked at the laundry list of appointments that have been scheduled for us in the weeks to come. While we were leaving the Madison NICU...we will still be making ample trips back and forth to Madison. We will also be getting a new pediatrician in Reedsburg for whom we will be meeting for the first time on Monday. The discharge papers explained that a shunt would still most likely be necessary...Frank explained they were still trying to hold off as long as they could because dried blood particles could clog the shunt and they wanted a majority of it would be gone first...and there is still a chance that maybe the fluid will cure itself...so lets hope so and lets hope there are no more cysts!

The process of leaving was far less eventful than I anticipated. We packed up our stuff and changed Owen into his first outfit of his very own. When we strapped him in his car seat...he looked so very small! After we left the hospital...we went out to lunch at Ella's Deli. After we ate...we fed him...and then drove home. Amazingly the bumpy car ride did not cause any spit ups!!! But Owen has never been a big cry baby...but he cried a great deal on the way home. Our suspicion was that the buckle of his car seat kept bumping him in his boy area which had just been circumcised the night before. Brendan would get annoyed every once in awhile and say "Oh Owen!"...and then pitch a small fit of his own. I think he was being competitive.

Once we got Owen into the house...we witnessed this little guy at his all time best. So far this evening he has had 3 feedings and one VERY SMALL spit up. Between his 8 and 10 pm feeding...he was wide awake and playful the entire time. He followed us with his eyes as we played with him. His hands were very busy reaching and grabbing. He was annoyed when Brendan hit his bed time and turned into the uber hyper toddler. At 10 we increased our prescribed 35 cc feeding to a 40 cc feeding and so far so good...no spits! I am not excited about the 2 hour interval feedings...but to have him home where he belongs and seemingly enjoying it thus far...I have absolutely no complaints!

Outside of the fact that Owen was released...I realize this particular entry was rather dull...but it is worth it! As I see how well he is doing tonight...I start to panic about all the things that could be yet to come. The feeding clinic...the surgeon...the physical therapists...the cysts...and the worry starts to set in. But then I was reminded that we need to stay right here in the moment. Right now our Owen is HOME! He defied the odds and he pulled through and that is nothing short of amazing. Fearing what could happen is a terrible idea because we can't control that and worrying about it now really will do nothing for us later.

Tomorrow we are planning a day at home. There are no intentions to leave the house...visit a hospital (that's Monday)...and for the first time in over 3 weeks...we will have the opportunity for April, myself and our two boys to just begin our adventure as the fab 4 and just be a family! What more could you ask for? So while this chapter comes to a close....we thank everyone again for their continued support and hope to share the little miracle that is Owen with you soon!

And while this has been a monumental day for Owen...I would like to give Brendan the opportunity to share the spotlight...

A couple nights ago...Brendan was up for pretty much the entire evening hollering at the top of his lungs. He was not feeling well as a result of his ear infection and all he wanted to do was yell. I got home from work and could hear him wailing from the bedroom. I had intended to take a half an hour or so to put music on my ipod...but April had texted me a couple of time while I was working mentioning Brendan was still fussing...so I decided to attempt to calm him down so she could have a break. When I got in the bedroom...he was still crying. Calming him down was not an easy task....and he continued to scream...so we tried to settle him in the living room. That was not working...so April decided to try to rock him in his chair. I heard him calling out "dad" so I went in and was talking to him in the dark. He asked for me...so I took him off April's lap and rocked him standing up. Finally! Some sweet silence. I rocked a bit longer and thought he might be sleeping when from the pitch dark he said "Nipples"...and a couple seconds later "Nipples" again. I am assuming he was playing off the fact that we had started giggling at him. It was kind of hard to be angry at him still after that one because he grabbed that tense moment and made it humorous. Once again...a Lee boy never fails to entertain and amuse...so stay tuned and until next time...Good Night!

I'm going home

May we never have to see the inside of room #5 of the NICU at Meriter Hospital again.

Cuz we are outta here!

It was a long ride home and someone wasn't pleased about it. Surprisingly, Brendan was not the culprit. Owen cried from Portage to home. He has since eaten and is now napping. Ahhhh....

We several appointments this week in both Reedsburg and Madison plus more in the next month but at least we are home.

I will have Jeremy update you with some of the stuff the doctor told us when we met with him before we left. Keep your fingers crossed that Owen does well with his feedings now that we are home and continues to have few, if no, spits.

We got several cards and gifts in the mail and on our doorstep this week. In case I don't get to sending cards right away, THANK YOU to everyone who has sent us gifts. We appreciate it more than we can tell you!

Just to see you smile

Here are some pictures from the last few days and the video of him smiling for all those skeptics.









And if you haven't already read it, be sure to scroll down for today's update.

Slowly But Surely

We left the hospital yesterday on a relatively good note...the nurses had been explaining the pros and cons of circumcisions which will FINALLY be performed on Owen soon. I certainly do not want to cause him any pain...but I would really like the procedure done before he leaves the hospital. At the time we walked out the door he had several feedings and no spit ups. So we were pretty optimistic. On the elevator up to the car we met Manly Martha. She was a tall, gruff looking woman with a deep voice. While she was very rough and tough in appearance and sound...she had an instant likability. She said Hello to Brendan and asked him if he liked motorcycles (which he does). Typically Brendan has no time for strangers...but he was curious about Manly Martha and listened intently. Martha told him that SHE had a motorcycle and it was red...and maybe we would see her driving it. We did! I had misplaced the car keys so it took us a little longer to get going as we left and there went Manly Martha zipping down the parking ramp. While our experience with Manly Martha was brief...it was like a good day all wrapped up in 30 seconds. Thanks for the good times Martha and ride with us on the elevator again soon!

I headed off to work for the evening and April went home with Brendan who was a bit riled up. My evening was acceptable...I did my work and was not quite as overwhelmed as I usually am. April's night did not proceed so well because Brendan was Cranky (capital C) and was not in the mood for anything but being ticked off. By the time I was driving home...the weather was nice I did not feel weighted down with worries. For just a few minutes I felt "normal" again and even a bit peaceful. This all came an to an abrupt end at bedtime when Brendan came to the conclusion that he would be staying up all night hollering. It does not take to long for things to shift in the opposite direction.

After a sleepless night...we took Brendan to the clinic in Reedsburg to find that his ear infection was not clearing up and was given a different kind of antibiotic. The doctor was not fearful of him being contagious because he had been on an antibiotic...so no worries there ladies and gentlemen. But, because he was a little surlier than usual...we dropped him off at Grandma's for the day. He was feeling pretty clingy and wanted his Mom and Dad...so we needed to lure him out on to the deck and distract him with looking for a cat out in the woods and then...when he wasn't looking...we took off in a dead run towards the car....literally. He noticed the swift movement and instantly began to chase after us, but we did not look back. We heard the exhale for the scream as soon as he noticed us leaving and it was not until we were closing the doors of the car that we heard the release of rage and frustration. Of course, it made me feel awful...but I think he needs another day of sun and relaxation if his ears are sore rather than being held up in a dingy hospital room.

I also want to point out that I recognize I have made mention of Brendan's less than stellar behavior, but until the fiasco that really took off last night...he did very well back at the hospital. He was for the most part quiet and considerate to the other babies around (not that he knows them very well since they all come and go so darn quickly while Owen remains in captivity)...and he played with his tool box and gave lots of hugs and kisses and was basically a fluffy cheeked little teddy bear. So much attention goes to Owen and his ups and downs that I thought it was important to take a moment to point out the incredible little guy that is Brendan. On our way home yesterday he was so tired...but the music was playing and even though he was squinting his eyes shut and falling asleep...he was still rocking out. Soon, he was out completely and we stopped at Walmart to get some milk. As we pulled into the parking spot the music was still going and he popped out of a deep sleep....eyes wide open...and started rocking out again. When I got back out of Walmart he was conked out again. When we pulled into our driveway we pulled up next to our mailbox. There is a tree branch that hangs a little low and always smacks the top of the car. It really needs to be cut down but I don't have a saw. Anyway, April had rolled her window down to reach in the mailbox and as we pulled along side of it...a bit of the branch swung in and out of the window. We thought nothing of it until we heard this giggle coming from the back seat. There sat Brendan laughing out loud. When I asked him what was funny he said..."Tree....FUNNY!" and proceeded to laugh about the tree branch coming through the window up the driveway the entire time we got him out of the car and into the house. They are so easily entertained at that age.

Anyway...back to the present. We headed off to Madison a little bit behind schedule (as a result of Brendan's appointment). We arrived in Owens rooms and waited for what seemed like an eternity (which was really about 15 minutes) for someone to come in and tell us how he was doing. Finally one of the newer, younger nurses arrived to give us an update. She is a perky little blonde that has been very good to Owen so far. I will refer to her as Nurse Nightingale. She told us that Owen had a pretty large spit for his 8 o'clock feeding but other than that has been spit free. His head circumference had grown...but only like .2 cm which is much less severe than before. The bad news was that he lost weight...about 20 grams. Instantly my mood soured and I crossed my arms. What the Hell? Another setback? But Nurse Nightingale counteracted the unhappy news that he lost weight with the fact that all of the tubes and the board for the PICC IV were part of the weight figures they were going off of. Yesterday was his first day off of his TPN and it is very likely that all of that accounted for some of the weight loss. None the less, I was tired...and now very cranky and I sat in the rocking chair stewing in my frustration that our hospital lifestyle would continue. I drifted in and out of sleep all the while knowing Owen would need to eat soon so I needed to pep up.

At 2 o'clock...April had wandered off to get some water...so I meandered over to Owen's crib side to start his diaper change and get him ready to eat. They had him wrapped like a mummy under 40 layers of clothes and I crabbily peeled the blankets off to get to his diaper. This woke him up but I was so busy being self-indulgent and ridiculous in my bitterness that I did not really take note. I decided to relax a little for his sake and noticed his legs were looking kind of dry so I grabbed some lotion to rub on them. Just as things decline...they also get better...and in an instant the rubbing of the lotion on the legs perked Owen right up. He was kicking his legs and moving around like your average newborn baby. When I worked the lotion into his feet he crinkled his little toes and smiled the biggest smile you have ever seen. I know you are thinking it was gas...but it was NOT. It was a smile and a couple more of them followed. He was reaching around with his arms and his eyes were just sparkling. He was so lively and content that it just made everything right in the world. We changed his diaper and fed him and he was alert and playful throughout the entire feeding. When he finished eating, I hovered over him creepily (as people so creepily do to babies) and talked to him leaning in and then standing up again to really accentuate the over all creepy father factor. He watched closely and focused in wherever I was. When I stepped to the side...he got some sunlight on his face and got this super shocked look on his face which was extremely entertaining. Feedings are stressful because we are always waiting for the projectile climax...what we got was a nice burp and a "baby size" spit up that was so minute and average that it did not even require re-feeding or any cause for alarm. April punched him as hard as she could in the face and he cried (actually she grazed the tip of his nose with her fingernail and it ticked him off and made him fuss). It was so refreshing to see him react negatively to something that most newborns would react negatively too. When we put him back into his crib...he curiously looked around at the hanging jungle mobile above his bed and the stimulation design Nurse Nightingale and taped to the inside of his bed. She said he seems so interested in visual stimulation, she thought she would help promote it with the design she had found.

We talked to our resident doctor today. She gave us some more information...that I actually felt was useful for once. She explained that even though his head has been gradually growing (albeit not at as an alarming of a rate) they like to hold off on the shunt as long as possible because in a child of his size...when they install a shunt...there is a possibility that the dried blood product in the brain could invade and possibly clog the shunt causing complications. I asked if the doctors in general were still expecting the shunt to become a reality and she said yes because of the size of the bleed...but it would be something they would monitor. I asked what happens if it is needed and she said it would most likely involve a few days at the hospital in order to perform the procedure and monitor it afterwards. Doctor Elmo has given us a bit more hope that he will try to avoid the operation if possible. The resident confirmed they do have concern about cerebral palsy and there is a damaged area...but that a child's brain is very remarkable and they really don't plan surgeries or conclude any theories until they are older because it can be amazing what the child and the brain in capable of. We all know Owen is nothing short of spectacular...so we will take that hope and embrace it.

And while I am feeling on the high end of decent (even though I am dying of sleep deprivation)...the icing on the cake was when Yoko (who is not his nurse this evening) just stopped in to say hello and tell us about how incredibly impressed she is with Owen...and just be that fabulous person that is Yoko. She just filled the room with her positivity and wonderfulness. I was devastated to know she would be off the rest of the month...and I have no intention of every getting stuck up here again once we are free...but we can always come back and visit and with wonderful nurses like Yoko, Sheryl, Babbles (she is cooky but good) & Nurse Nightingale we really would need to stop back and show off our little piece of happiness anyway wouldn't we. So let's end this on this up note and you will hear more from us soon.

Be sure to check back later tonight for new pictures and a video.

Here is the "oh so shocked" face...