It seems as if we are moving on to a whole new set of adventures in the life of Owen. Where we had once believed that we were bringing the little guy home soon and proceeding to a life of a little more simplicity...we have since found that we are instead embarking on a whole new set of wonders and tests. I can't say I am tremendously thrilled at the prospect of many more days at the hospital...but you know how it goes.
As you all know...Owen's stay in the NICU was extended a result of a mild fever. This issue has since resolved itself but morphed into another concern...weight gain. Owen has not gained a whole lot of weight and unfortunately, his weight loss has exceeded his weight gain. To compound the situation, he has been spitting up regularly and spitting up rather large amounts. There is a pattern to the spit up. When he wakes, he typically eats a portion of his bottle, burps and then consumes the remainder. The spit up usually takes place during the first and second part of his feeding. We have tried to resolve the issue by sitting him up, feeding him a smaller beginning amount, burping him for a longer period of time, trying to make sure he is more awake before beginning to feed him...nothing has done the trick. It has been a very rare event that he spits up after the second part of his feeding...but it has been consistent enough that the doctors are concerned. So now we will begin a string of blood tests to see where his levels are (again) and a series of gastrointestinal studies to rule out any possible problems there. The result will be many more days back and forth to Madison and caring for Owen in a hospital setting. UGH!
The doctors also discussed another head ultrasound soon to see what is going on with the blood in Owen's head. They feel his vitals are all relatively stable and they have not been concerned about his color. When it comes to his tone, they feel he is pretty much in line with the average 2 week old infant, but they are also monitoring that closely. Today I have been concerned about how awake he is when he is awake. He does not seem quite as peppy as he did yesterday...but that could be as a result of a number of things. Overall the consensus amongst the doctors as to what comes next or what to expect is they don't know. We hear I don't know many times every day when we ask how long it will take the blood to absorb, or if we should be concerned about his mobility, or how long they think it will be before he gets to go home. Sometimes those three words, I don't know are extremely defeating and we are left simply trying to hold our heads up high in lieu of beating them against the wall in utter frustration.
Brendan continues to be a little less than cooperative and angry at the whole situation. While April and I are learning better coping techniques to contend with his less than savory mood...he is still excessively needy. When he needs attention, mom AND dad need to be involved. When we go somewhere, we both need to go. He does not want to leave a room unless we are both following. I think he is afraid that we are going to disappear for hours at a time like we have been and he is trying to prevent that. As parents, we are left with the dilemma of which is worse...letting him sit with Grandma so we can concentrate on Owen's needs and minimize the amount of time he has to stay at the hospital, or taking him with us so he can spend time with us but confining him to the hospital for days at a time. It is very much a Catch 22 and one scenario does not seem to work out better than the other.
Reality has also been biting at my heels as my place of employment pursues me to try to resume business as usual. While I certainly value having a job...and don't want to jeopardize my employment...I am also not fully capable of moving full steam ahead with the hotel business. Especially when my younger son's health is in question and my older son is not coping extremely well. Add to this the fact that April is still not able to drive and lift Brendan...a whole new set of obstacles present themselves. But, I am trying. I use my little moments of clarity to address the largest issues at hand and then focus back on my family. I also feel that I am technically using my 2 weeks of vacation right now and I am within that time frame right at the moment, so I should be able to give the greatest amount of concentration to my family. The bills need to be paid and the money is going faster than it is coming...so I will have no option other than to step up to the plate in good time.
As we speak, Owen is having his blood drawn and Brendan is running at the breast pump shouting BOOBS! BOOBS! in front of the nurse. Never a boring moment I guess. I suppose we can find the humor where it is available (thank GOD for Brendan) and count are blessings that Owen is here...even if he is hanging out at the hospital for an extended period of time. And finally, just proceed one day at a time doing the best we can. Nothing else can really be expected right now.
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