I headed off to work for the evening and April went home with Brendan who was a bit riled up. My evening was acceptable...I did my work and was not quite as overwhelmed as I usually am. April's night did not proceed so well because Brendan was Cranky (capital C) and was not in the mood for anything but being ticked off. By the time I was driving home...the weather was nice I did not feel weighted down with worries. For just a few minutes I felt "normal" again and even a bit peaceful. This all came an to an abrupt end at bedtime when Brendan came to the conclusion that he would be staying up all night hollering. It does not take to long for things to shift in the opposite direction.
After a sleepless night...we took Brendan to the clinic in Reedsburg to find that his ear infection was not clearing up and was given a different kind of antibiotic. The doctor was not fearful of him being contagious because he had been on an antibiotic...so no worries there ladies and gentlemen. But, because he was a little surlier than usual...we dropped him off at Grandma's for the day. He was feeling pretty clingy and wanted his Mom and Dad...so we needed to lure him out on to the deck and distract him with looking for a cat out in the woods and then...when he wasn't looking...we took off in a dead run towards the car....literally. He noticed the swift movement and instantly began to chase after us, but we did not look back. We heard the exhale for the scream as soon as he noticed us leaving and it was not until we were closing the doors of the car that we heard the release of rage and frustration. Of course, it made me feel awful...but I think he needs another day of sun and relaxation if his ears are sore rather than being held up in a dingy hospital room.
I also want to point out that I recognize I have made mention of Brendan's less than stellar behavior, but until the fiasco that really took off last night...he did very well back at the hospital. He was for the most part quiet and considerate to the other babies around (not that he knows them very well since they all come and go so darn quickly while Owen remains in captivity)...and he played with his tool box and gave lots of hugs and kisses and was basically a fluffy cheeked little teddy bear. So much attention goes to Owen and his ups and downs that I thought it was important to take a moment to point out the incredible little guy that is Brendan. On our way home yesterday he was so tired...but the music was playing and even though he was squinting his eyes shut and falling asleep...he was still rocking out. Soon, he was out completely and we stopped at Walmart to get some milk. As we pulled into the parking spot the music was still going and he popped out of a deep sleep....eyes wide open...and started rocking out again. When I got back out of Walmart he was conked out again. When we pulled into our driveway we pulled up next to our mailbox. There is a tree branch that hangs a little low and always smacks the top of the car. It really needs to be cut down but I don't have a saw. Anyway, April had rolled her window down to reach in the mailbox and as we pulled along side of it...a bit of the branch swung in and out of the window. We thought nothing of it until we heard this giggle coming from the back seat. There sat Brendan laughing out loud. When I asked him what was funny he said..."Tree....FUNNY!" and proceeded to laugh about the tree branch coming through the window up the driveway the entire time we got him out of the car and into the house. They are so easily entertained at that age.
Anyway...back to the present. We headed off to Madison a little bit behind schedule (as a result of Brendan's appointment). We arrived in Owens rooms and waited for what seemed like an eternity (which was really about 15 minutes) for someone to come in and tell us how he was doing. Finally one of the newer, younger nurses arrived to give us an update. She is a perky little blonde that has been very good to Owen so far. I will refer to her as Nurse Nightingale. She told us that Owen had a pretty large spit for his 8 o'clock feeding but other than that has been spit free. His head circumference had grown...but only like .2 cm which is much less severe than before. The bad news was that he lost weight...about 20 grams. Instantly my mood soured and I crossed my arms. What the Hell? Another setback? But Nurse Nightingale counteracted the unhappy news that he lost weight with the fact that all of the tubes and the board for the PICC IV were part of the weight figures they were going off of. Yesterday was his first day off of his TPN and it is very likely that all of that accounted for some of the weight loss. None the less, I was tired...and now very cranky and I sat in the rocking chair stewing in my frustration that our hospital lifestyle would continue. I drifted in and out of sleep all the while knowing Owen would need to eat soon so I needed to pep up.
At 2 o'clock...April had wandered off to get some water...so I meandered over to Owen's crib side to start his diaper change and get him ready to eat. They had him wrapped like a mummy under 40 layers of clothes and I crabbily peeled the blankets off to get to his diaper. This woke him up but I was so busy being self-indulgent and ridiculous in my bitterness that I did not really take note. I decided to relax a little for his sake and noticed his legs were looking kind of dry so I grabbed some lotion to rub on them. Just as things decline...they also get better...and in an instant the rubbing of the lotion on the legs perked Owen right up. He was kicking his legs and moving around like your average newborn baby. When I worked the lotion into his feet he crinkled his little toes and smiled the biggest smile you have ever seen. I know you are thinking it was gas...but it was NOT. It was a smile and a couple more of them followed. He was reaching around with his arms and his eyes were just sparkling. He was so lively and content that it just made everything right in the world. We changed his diaper and fed him and he was alert and playful throughout the entire feeding. When he finished eating, I hovered over him creepily (as people so creepily do to babies) and talked to him leaning in and then standing up again to really accentuate the over all creepy father factor. He watched closely and focused in wherever I was. When I stepped to the side...he got some sunlight on his face and got this super shocked look on his face which was extremely entertaining. Feedings are stressful because we are always waiting for the projectile climax...what we got was a nice burp and a "baby size" spit up that was so minute and average that it did not even require re-feeding or any cause for alarm. April punched him as hard as she could in the face and he cried (actually she grazed the tip of his nose with her fingernail and it ticked him off and made him fuss). It was so refreshing to see him react negatively to something that most newborns would react negatively too. When we put him back into his crib...he curiously looked around at the hanging jungle mobile above his bed and the stimulation design Nurse Nightingale and taped to the inside of his bed. She said he seems so interested in visual stimulation, she thought she would help promote it with the design she had found.
We talked to our resident doctor today. She gave us some more information...that I actually felt was useful for once. She explained that even though his head has been gradually growing (albeit not at as an alarming of a rate) they like to hold off on the shunt as long as possible because in a child of his size...when they install a shunt...there is a possibility that the dried blood product in the brain could invade and possibly clog the shunt causing complications. I asked if the doctors in general were still expecting the shunt to become a reality and she said yes because of the size of the bleed...but it would be something they would monitor. I asked what happens if it is needed and she said it would most likely involve a few days at the hospital in order to perform the procedure and monitor it afterwards. Doctor Elmo has given us a bit more hope that he will try to avoid the operation if possible. The resident confirmed they do have concern about cerebral palsy and there is a damaged area...but that a child's brain is very remarkable and they really don't plan surgeries or conclude any theories until they are older because it can be amazing what the child and the brain in capable of. We all know Owen is nothing short of spectacular...so we will take that hope and embrace it.
And while I am feeling on the high end of decent (even though I am dying of sleep deprivation)...the icing on the cake was when Yoko (who is not his nurse this evening) just stopped in to say hello and tell us about how incredibly impressed she is with Owen...and just be that fabulous person that is Yoko. She just filled the room with her positivity and wonderfulness. I was devastated to know she would be off the rest of the month...and I have no intention of every getting stuck up here again once we are free...but we can always come back and visit and with wonderful nurses like Yoko, Sheryl, Babbles (she is cooky but good) & Nurse Nightingale we really would need to stop back and show off our little piece of happiness anyway wouldn't we. So let's end this on this up note and you will hear more from us soon.
Be sure to check back later tonight for new pictures and a video.
Here is the "oh so shocked" face...
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