Back To Life

When we finally left the hospital after spending over 3 weeks in a tiny confined space....it took a bit to re-acclimate to life on the outside. When I say we, I mean our entire family. You would be surprised to see how affected even the tiniest of people (Brendan) can be after a situation like this. A combination of trying to resume life as it was...and sheer exhaustion have been the primary contributing factors to the lack of posts. That and the consistent ups and downs made for compelling storytelling...where as the aftermath (thank goodness) has been more peaceful and uneventful.

Owen is doing very well at home so far. He has been eating and we have been gradually increasing the amount of food we give him. It has been a slow process, but the spit ups have been minimal and at his appointment on Monday, we found that he had gained a nice little chunk of weight...which is a sign that we are getting this feeding thing right. For the most part, he has been waking on his home wanting to eat. He presents himself as a much more average baby outside of the hospital. His good moments far outweigh his bad. When he wakes up we change him and do some of his mobility exercises with him just in case he has any stiffness or lack of tone. I really feel he is quite strong and will be interested to see what the therapist has to say next time we see her. He is always very eager to eat and usually downs his bottle in record time. He coos and plays....looks around at his new surroundings and seems to really enjoy the movement and brightness of the sun when it shines through the windows. I suppose after being confined to a dark little room....seeing people moving around and hearing new noises is very stimulating. For the most part, he gets up for his feedings at night and goes right back to bed. Of course, sleep is a scarcity because if he is not up....Brendan is...but we will deal with that in due time. At Owen's appointment we also learned that his head circumference had not expanded all that much and the doctor (his new pediatrician) seemed pretty content with the way he was thriving. Good news has been a little harder to come by than bad news in this whole saga....so we appreciate each and every step forward.

Brendan has been MUCH more content at home. I think he is just so thrilled to have his toys easily accessible and freedom to wander into any room he wants and make as much noise as he wants (which let me assure you he does) without being told to shush. Sunday we never left the house because we had that option. I think Brendan was actually relieved to be able to just chill in his surroundings for an extended period of time. When it comes to April and myself....Brendan still has some severe separation anxiety. He wants us both around him all of the time. We get plenty of hugs and kisses and overall his mood is very good. The downside is that we are not allowed any down time for ourselves because he constantly has a book, some colors, or an activity that he wants us to participate with. Even the stillness of a quiet night after the little beast is asleep is virtually impossible because he wants to snuggle. Once Brendan time is officially over....we usually have so little energy left ourselves we just go to bed. It seems one of the boys is back up before you know it.

As we experience this lull between appointments (and the zillion trips to and from Madison), I have returned to the daily grind. I have to say it is easier to work during a more normal shift and then be able to go home for the evening than it was to work after a super long day filled with doctors and tension. I realize my perspective on things have changed so much in such a short amount of time. I have a much more sympathetic nature to all of the causes out there trying to help people in need. I found myself carefully reading different donation request letters that I am always receiving in the mail and really pondering how I can help them out the most. I realize through the loss of my grandmother and the birth of Owen that there are some truly incredible organizations out there that do so much for people in need....and having partaken in their generosity myself, I find it important to give back wherever possible from now on.

April is healing well from her c-section surgery. She has had the honor (and the challenge) of handling both the boys while I am at work. So far, so good. Although she too is denied any free time or sleep. That will be coming one of these days soon...right?

Next up is an appointment with the neurosurgeon on Thursday to see if they feel they need to proceed with the consideration of a shunt for Owen...or if they think he is holding his own for the time being and can be left alone. I am anxious to talk to Dr. Elmo to find out more about the cause of and expectation of the two little cysts they found in an area where part of Owen's bleed had been. The questions are always building in my head....but I have been so appreciative of the time we have had to just be a family at last. It is nice to see Brendan's reaction to his new little brother (which I have to say has been very positive so far). It has been great eating a homecooked meal (and maybe shedding a few pounds now that we are not on the neverending restauarant grease diet). Sleeping in our own bed has been a luxury that I think I appreciate the most....and actually getting more than an hour of sleep is a big aspiration of mine.

So there is more to come....once again, I apologize for boring you....but it is so much easier on us mentally to live this normal existence then it was to be a part of the soul crushing experiences we had to go through over the course of the first few days of Owen's life with us. I have to say he is as cute as a button and we hope to be able to bring him around and share the little miracle witn you soon! Until then.....have a great evening!